[It's a comment without any heat, and Kazuma goes ahead and pulls out a second cup anyway, the same as he did the last time they had this conversation. The muscle memory of the precise way to make the tea is another thing he doesn't examine, as is the certainty that he's used to having it on the bitter side.
It isn't a task that takes much time or requires much commentary. Kazuma doesn't bother announcing himself when he exits the kitchen with two steaming cups, letting the clack of the porcelain meeting the table as he places one in front of Ryunosuke doing it for him.
There you go. A bitter green tea Susato would be proud of.]
[Yeah whatever Kazuma, he knows you're still going to do it. And lo and behold, a few minutes later, there it is! Ryunosuke flashes him a polite and sort of apologetic but not-quite-really smile, setting his phone down at last and picking up the cup.]
Thank you.
[As is his way, he goes to take a sip without blowing on it, or even really sniffing it first. So the bitter taste... Hits him like a punch to the mouth.
He sits there a long moment, trying really hard not to pull a face. He kind of forgot... That Kazuma makes tea like this... What a fool he was to ask for this again...]
[Kazuma just laughs at him, of course--no sympathy for the ordeal that Ryunosuke has only brought on himself.]
You know that wouldn't happen if you just drank your tea normally.
[He sits down right next to Ryunosuke without even thinking about it, subconsciously drawn to the warmth of another person like a magnet, close enough that their knees touch. The point of contact only helps a little, and he can't stop the shiver this time as he pulls his own cup of tea close to his chest. Maybe he'll risk a little mouth scalding himself.]
[But even if he drank it normally, it would still be bitter! >:( which is definitely the bigger problem, since he's totally used to scalding himself on a regular basis...
Anyway. Ryunosuke would snark back at him, but Kazuma coming and sitting that close without any warning makes him choke down the mouthful of tea in surprise. For a few long moments, he totally blanks out, trying to process this unexpected development. It's as if a feral cat he's been trying to befriend for weeks has abruptly decided to accept being pet?? He can't make sense of the sudden change.
When he notices the shivering though, his surprise and confusion quickly turn to concern.]
Kazuma? Are you alright? You're shaking...
[And also sitting really, REALLY close to me, he thinks but doesn't say aloud.]
It's November. I'm cold. If anything, it's strange that you aren't.
[Naturally, it's Ryunosuke who's the wrong one. Kazuma punctuates the remark by taking a sip from his drink, hoping the warmth of it would spread outward and ease some of the chill; instead, the sensation of the hot tea somehow only seems to makes him more aware of how cold his outsides are in comparison.
He settles back into the sofa with resigned frustration, his shoulder thoughtlessly knocking against Ryunosuke's as he does.]
Well. If Kazuma feels cold, it's not as if insisting he shouldn't will change his mind, or make him feel any better.]
I suppose... If you say so...
[...And then Kazuma bumps his shoulder, and Ryunosuke sucks a sharp breath in through his teeth as his teacup is jostled, some of its contents sloshing out and splashing right onto his lap.
Ryunosuke yelps. It's SHOCKINGLY hot for about all of 2 seconds, and then very very quickly it becomes miserably, uncomfortably cold, and damp. Gritting his teeth against the sensation, he stiffly leans forward to set his cup down before struggling to stand up, wiggling away from Kazuma.]
Oh, thank you for that! Now I need to go and dab this mess off...
[He grumbles, picking up his cup and disappearing into kitchen for a moment to do just that. In some ways, it is actually kind of serendipitous, because at least this means he can fix his tea by just doing that while he's already up, instead of making a big deal out of it and drawing to attention to himself.
When he returns, he'll be carrying tea that clearly has a bunch of cream and sugar added into it.]
[It's a pointless argument to have, and Kazuma immediately forgets about it as soon as Ryunosuke gets up--it's like what little warmth is left in the room is sucked out along with him, and Kazuma has to put his tea down before his shivering upends it all onto himself in turn. Didn't the landlord say this place had internal heating? It was probably bullshit. He knew they should have gotten someplace with a proper hearth.
It feels like years before Ryunosuke finally comes back to the main room. Kazuma has taken the liberty of getting his coat back on from the entry closet in the meantime, and his scowl dares Ryunosuke to comment on it.]
Well. Ryunosuke can't help but stare, blinking owlishly once more. There's a heaviness in the air between them, the sense that he is seriously considering taking that dare... But instead of commenting right away, he busies his mouth by taking another long sip of his (now tolerably sweetened) tea. It buys him a bit more time to choose his next words very carefully.
He swallows. Smacks his lips lightly before speaking.]
Shall we...? Get the kotatsu out, perhaps?
[Just a suggestion! A very bland, non judgemental suggestion.]
[Kazuma keeps a very straight face, as if he is simply considering Ryunosuke's perfectly neutral suggestion from a reasonable standpoint and not suppressing the urge to shiver in his seat.]
It is the season for it.
[...And that's all the discipline he can manage before he's on his feet and opening the closet where it's been kept folded up.
Putting it all together makes for a temporary distraction from the cold, at least. A table is a table, but the modern kotatsu design still provides enough of a challenge for two guys from the 19th century to require some problem solving. As a final touch, Kazuma takes it upon himself to plug in the completed kotatsu--"since it's so terrifying"--and so it is that they become equipped for the winter.
Their tea has surely gone cold by now, but Kazuma takes a moment to admire their handiwork. While electric power has slowly become less of a novelty the longer they stay in this strange place, the convenience of it all still amazes him.]
I suppose all that's left now is to test it. It can't be any more likely to burn our feet, can it?
[Electrical outlets are witchcraft, OK? It may be witchcraft that Ryunosuke is gradually getting used to, but. Still witchcraft nonetheless.
Anyway, at first he just hums in reply... And if Kazuma's comment was supposed to make him worried about testing it or something, it doesn't work. Despite claiming he was comfortable enough earlier, Ryunosuke is a slut for being warm and cozy. He's quick to take a seat, practically hopping in to get his legs arranged comfortably beneath the blanket, before leaning contentedly against the table, chin resting atop his folded arms.]
Mmm... Is that something that has happened to you a lot before, dealing with kotatsu? I don't think I've ever had that problem.
[His tone is a bit smug and lightly teasing. RIP to the rest of y'all, but Ryunosuke is different???? Between this shit, his love of fireplaces, and his penchant for drinking scalding hot tea, one might wonder if he's actually immune to fire or something.]
[Kazuma settles in adjacent to Ryunosuke, letting his legs stretch out beneath the heater. It does help some--not as much as Kazuma would like, but it is better. As Ryunosuke's question registers, he goes quiet, the good humor falling from his face.]
I... don't know.
[If he thinks about it, he can recall faint details of something like that--the sensation of feet scraping against the grate, sudden pain, and jerking back in surprised reflex. Just the barest flitter of a memory with no sense of where or when or how long ago it took place. And he automatically veers away from dwelling on it further, not wanting any images to take root and bloom into something he can't ignore.]
I suppose I must have, if it's something I'm worried about.
[And in the meantime, he still has tea to drink, thank you.]
[...Sometimes, Ryunosuke likens Kazuma to the sea. Spending time with him while he's in this amnesiac state can be like traversing unfamiliar waters, with choppy waves and the faint scent of a storm in the air. Other times, when their rapport settles into something comfortable and achingly familiar... The sea is smooth, and Ryunosuke forgets that the ocean always has its hazards. That's when he makes mistakes.
All that to say: he'd become so complacent in the face of such familiar and easy banter, he'd all but forgotten that a small and inconsequential memory, such as singed toes courtesy of a blazing kotatsu, might hold confusion and complicated feelings for Kazuma. Especially if he remembers little of his life growing up in Japan.
Ryunosuke considers apologizing... But Kazuma seems to want to move on from it. Should he let him? Probably. He averts his eyes and sips his own tea, which has cooled off significantly. So much for "drink tea while it's hot"...
The bitterness, tolerably masked now by copious amounts of cream and sugar, brings something else to mind. He laughs to himself, lowering the cup from his lips for a moment.]
You know... I swear, you brew tea exactly the same as Susato-san does.
[A name which brings up it's own pang of wistful feelings... He can't help but draw the comparison, though.]
[If Ryunosuke is trying to avoid emotionally complex topics, it's the wrong thing to say. Kazuma breathes in sharply as he recognizes the name--recognizes nothing but the familiarity of it, and the accompanying memory of the sound of fabric moving against wood as a cup is placed in front of him.
The feelings of fear and guilt the memory automatically invokes in him are typical, but there are other emotions as well--regret; affection. Love, too. "Susato-san" isn't someone he entirely wants to forget, it seems. He wants to hold on to the sensation before it fades.]
[Ryunosuke is momentarily surprised to realize he hasn't mentioned or talked about her at all before now... He supposes there are a lot of reasons for that, but the biggest and most obvious is that it's painful to think about her, what with the unanswered question hanging over his head: Is he alive, or is he dead? Will he be able to see her again any time soon?
He hopes he will. He really hopes he's not dead, not just for his own sake but for hers. Having ANOTHER exchange student defense attorney die on her would just be... Ugh. It's too much to think about!
(Although, if Kazuma is actually alive... Would it really matter if Ryunosuke was dead, then? She could have her original partner back...)
He shoves that thought aside. He doesn't miss Kazuma's reaction to the name either. His gaze sharpens, for a moment, wondering to himself what it could possibly mean. Does some part of him still remember her?
He sets his cup down, keeping his hands curled around the fading warmth.]
...Mikotoba Susato. My judicial assistant. She's an absolutely brilliant and highly competent young lady. I would never have gotten even half as far in the cases I've stood for, if it weren't for her expert advice. [He pauses.] ...She was actually meant to be your judicial assistant, originally. But...
[If he focuses, he can make out the shape of her just a little. Fleeting impulses and sensations only--the vague presence of another sitting quietly nearby as he goes through his forms, soft footsteps behind him as he pores over a textbook by dim candlelight, a young girl's voice calling out something--something he can only barely not remember, there just beyond the edges of his memory--
"Kazuma-sama!"
--his hand flies to his head as the room spins.]
I--
[He can't remember. He doesn't want to forget her, but he's afraid of where memories of her might lead. He feels like he's standing at the very edge of a precipice, reeling to keep his balance. Every nerve in him is screaming not to fall.
He doesn't.
But it takes a moment for him to find his footing again. He takes a deep breath through his nose, then another, and the nausea fades. Somehow, though, the chill stays.]
It's not like he hasn't seen Kazuma react this way to hearing certain information before, but... Some sixth sense, or intuition, or an unconscious observation of a variation in Kazuma's body language this time, has Ryunosuke pinging onto the fact that this is hitting him particularly hard.]
Kazuma--!
[He panics. The worst seems to have already passed by the time Ryunosuke manages to extract himself from the kotatsu, but, seeing that Kazuma is still reeling for a long moment after, he sort of dives around the perimeter of the table to slide up to his side anyway. Crouching there, his hand hovers just shy of his friend's shoulder, concern written all over his face.]
Are you alright? I'm sorry, I didn't... I didn't mean to...
[Kazuma really has mostly recovered by the time Ryunosuke gets himself together--he gives his head a little shake as if to dislodge the last of the dizziness. The scattered remnants of Susato-san's memory go along with it, and he doesn't allow himself to mourn.
Ryunosuke's worry, at least, isn't necessary, and yet Kazuma finds the sight of his concerned face immeasurably comforting. As he turns to meet Ryunosuke's eyes, he's overwhelmed with an immense fondness; he can't help but smile softly, and he hopes Ryunosuke will take it for the reassurance that it is.]
I'm all right, thank you. Really, you can sit down.
[Ryunosuke doesn't look entirely convinced, but he also knows that fussing over Kazuma and pressing the issue certainly won't do any good.]
If you're sure...
[Rather than go to the effort of relocating back to the other side, he decides to just take his seat where he is, right near Kazuma. He reaches to pull his cup of tea over, and glances sideways at his friend.]
That seems to happen to you a lot... I can't believe I'm saying this, but. Have you considered going to see a doctor about that? Your headaches, I mean?
[They just barely fit together on one side of the kotatsu, and Kazuma doesn't give a thought to pressing into Ryunosuke's side, the point of contact somehow warming him far better than the heater he's sitting under.]
It isn't that frequent. It's only when...
[When he's in danger of remembering. When the seal he's placed so tightly over his own mind is threatening to break, the headache and nausea hit like an alarm bell, warning him away from the brink. Or so Kazuma can only conclude.
It's just another reason not to pursue any of it.]
Anyway, it's passed now. There's no reason to worry about it.
[Kazuma leans in, and Ryunosuke tries to tamp down the blush that threatens to creep over his cheeks in response. This isn't quite as shocking as the first time it happened, but... It is also becoming a pattern, and he's starting to wonder about it? Kazuma used to be very touchy with him in the past, but that was... You know... Before.
He clears his throat softly, trying to find his train of thought again.]
You say that, but worrying about you is something I just can't help but do. Also, um... [Man, he doesn't want to point it out because he doesn't want Kazuma to stop? But.] Is the heater helping at all? It's just that you seem... Um... Clingy isn't the right word, but...
[Unfortunately, Ryunosuke's words have the exact effect he didn't want. Kazuma looks at him for a moment and then shifts away a few inches, looking surprised and embarrassed, as if he'd only just realized they were touching. He doesn't move that far--he's hampered by the leg of the kotatsu and his own reluctance not to be too far from the only heat source that seems to help--but they're no longer making contact. And now Kazuma is avoiding Ryunosuke's eyes.]
...Sorry.
[He is still cold, is the thing, but he isn't about to tell Ryunosuke that now. He hopes the way he curls on himself slightly just looks defensive as opposed to... well.]
Ryunosuke opens his mouth to try and stop him, but he's already moving away, and looking embarrassed to boot, of all things--
Kazuma won't look at him now, but Ryunosuke doesn't stop looking, lips curved into a frown. It doesn't take very long for him to make an impulsive move.
Huffing exasperatedly, he closes the gap between them again, grunting as he sidles up and nudges gently against his side. Now Kazuma is trapped between Ryunosuke and the leg of the kotatsu. Nowhere else to go, idiot! When Ryunosuke is settled, he exhales harshly through his nose, a little snort that makes it clear he will brook no argument.]
...I wasn't trying to say that it bothered me or anything, you know.
[Kazuma bites back a startled yelp when Ryunosuke slides over, having not at all expected him to take such an initiative. As soon as he realizes what's happened, he relaxes--that same fondness from before washing over him again, accompanied by a soft smile.
He knows very little about himself, but he knows something about the kind of person he is. He knows it's one that doesn't deserve a friend like Ryunosuke, and it's one that rarely encounters true good fortune, whether from fate itself or of his own making. He should be staying on guard. Complacency is dangerous. But at the moment he finds he doesn't much care.
He curls into the warmth of Ryunosuke as much as he dares, close enough that their breaths can surely mingle. He doesn't dare ask for anything further, but...]
Thank you. [He doesn't know how else to express his gratitude for Ryunosuke simply being there, existing, caring.]
[As if he'd rather be anywhere else, or doing anything else.
Both surprised and pleased that his gambit paid off, Ryunosuke hums in acknowledgement, and allows himself a little smile and a satisfied glance in Kazuma's direction.]
...My pleasure.
[Maybe looking at him when they're this close to one another is a mistake. Ryunosuke can half feel his heart melting when he takes in those handsome features which he knows so well, and he's possessed by the intrusive impulse to put an arm around his shoulder as well, or maybe... Reach up and stroke his hair, or hold his hand...
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[It's a comment without any heat, and Kazuma goes ahead and pulls out a second cup anyway, the same as he did the last time they had this conversation. The muscle memory of the precise way to make the tea is another thing he doesn't examine, as is the certainty that he's used to having it on the bitter side.
It isn't a task that takes much time or requires much commentary. Kazuma doesn't bother announcing himself when he exits the kitchen with two steaming cups, letting the clack of the porcelain meeting the table as he places one in front of Ryunosuke doing it for him.
There you go. A bitter green tea Susato would be proud of.]
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Thank you.
[As is his way, he goes to take a sip without blowing on it, or even really sniffing it first. So the bitter taste... Hits him like a punch to the mouth.
He sits there a long moment, trying really hard not to pull a face. He kind of forgot... That Kazuma makes tea like this... What a fool he was to ask for this again...]
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You know that wouldn't happen if you just drank your tea normally.
[He sits down right next to Ryunosuke without even thinking about it, subconsciously drawn to the warmth of another person like a magnet, close enough that their knees touch. The point of contact only helps a little, and he can't stop the shiver this time as he pulls his own cup of tea close to his chest. Maybe he'll risk a little mouth scalding himself.]
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Anyway. Ryunosuke would snark back at him, but Kazuma coming and sitting that close without any warning makes him choke down the mouthful of tea in surprise. For a few long moments, he totally blanks out, trying to process this unexpected development. It's as if a feral cat he's been trying to befriend for weeks has abruptly decided to accept being pet?? He can't make sense of the sudden change.
When he notices the shivering though, his surprise and confusion quickly turn to concern.]
Kazuma? Are you alright? You're shaking...
[And also sitting really, REALLY close to me, he thinks but doesn't say aloud.]
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It's November. I'm cold. If anything, it's strange that you aren't.
[Naturally, it's Ryunosuke who's the wrong one. Kazuma punctuates the remark by taking a sip from his drink, hoping the warmth of it would spread outward and ease some of the chill; instead, the sensation of the hot tea somehow only seems to makes him more aware of how cold his outsides are in comparison.
He settles back into the sofa with resigned frustration, his shoulder thoughtlessly knocking against Ryunosuke's as he does.]
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Well. If Kazuma feels cold, it's not as if insisting he shouldn't will change his mind, or make him feel any better.]
I suppose... If you say so...
[...And then Kazuma bumps his shoulder, and Ryunosuke sucks a sharp breath in through his teeth as his teacup is jostled, some of its contents sloshing out and splashing right onto his lap.
Ryunosuke yelps. It's SHOCKINGLY hot for about all of 2 seconds, and then very very quickly it becomes miserably, uncomfortably cold, and damp. Gritting his teeth against the sensation, he stiffly leans forward to set his cup down before struggling to stand up, wiggling away from Kazuma.]
Oh, thank you for that! Now I need to go and dab this mess off...
[He grumbles, picking up his cup and disappearing into kitchen for a moment to do just that. In some ways, it is actually kind of serendipitous, because at least this means he can fix his tea by just doing that while he's already up, instead of making a big deal out of it and drawing to attention to himself.
When he returns, he'll be carrying tea that clearly has a bunch of cream and sugar added into it.]
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[It's a pointless argument to have, and Kazuma immediately forgets about it as soon as Ryunosuke gets up--it's like what little warmth is left in the room is sucked out along with him, and Kazuma has to put his tea down before his shivering upends it all onto himself in turn. Didn't the landlord say this place had internal heating? It was probably bullshit. He knew they should have gotten someplace with a proper hearth.
It feels like years before Ryunosuke finally comes back to the main room. Kazuma has taken the liberty of getting his coat back on from the entry closet in the meantime, and his scowl dares Ryunosuke to comment on it.]
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Well. Ryunosuke can't help but stare, blinking owlishly once more. There's a heaviness in the air between them, the sense that he is seriously considering taking that dare... But instead of commenting right away, he busies his mouth by taking another long sip of his (now tolerably sweetened) tea. It buys him a bit more time to choose his next words very carefully.
He swallows. Smacks his lips lightly before speaking.]
Shall we...? Get the kotatsu out, perhaps?
[Just a suggestion! A very bland, non judgemental suggestion.]
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It is the season for it.
[...And that's all the discipline he can manage before he's on his feet and opening the closet where it's been kept folded up.
Putting it all together makes for a temporary distraction from the cold, at least. A table is a table, but the modern kotatsu design still provides enough of a challenge for two guys from the 19th century to require some problem solving. As a final touch, Kazuma takes it upon himself to plug in the completed kotatsu--"since it's so terrifying"--and so it is that they become equipped for the winter.
Their tea has surely gone cold by now, but Kazuma takes a moment to admire their handiwork. While electric power has slowly become less of a novelty the longer they stay in this strange place, the convenience of it all still amazes him.]
I suppose all that's left now is to test it. It can't be any more likely to burn our feet, can it?
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Anyway, at first he just hums in reply... And if Kazuma's comment was supposed to make him worried about testing it or something, it doesn't work. Despite claiming he was comfortable enough earlier, Ryunosuke is a slut for being warm and cozy. He's quick to take a seat, practically hopping in to get his legs arranged comfortably beneath the blanket, before leaning contentedly against the table, chin resting atop his folded arms.]
Mmm... Is that something that has happened to you a lot before, dealing with kotatsu? I don't think I've ever had that problem.
[His tone is a bit smug and lightly teasing. RIP to the rest of y'all, but Ryunosuke is different???? Between this shit, his love of fireplaces, and his penchant for drinking scalding hot tea, one might wonder if he's actually immune to fire or something.]
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I... don't know.
[If he thinks about it, he can recall faint details of something like that--the sensation of feet scraping against the grate, sudden pain, and jerking back in surprised reflex. Just the barest flitter of a memory with no sense of where or when or how long ago it took place. And he automatically veers away from dwelling on it further, not wanting any images to take root and bloom into something he can't ignore.]
I suppose I must have, if it's something I'm worried about.
[And in the meantime, he still has tea to drink, thank you.]
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All that to say: he'd become so complacent in the face of such familiar and easy banter, he'd all but forgotten that a small and inconsequential memory, such as singed toes courtesy of a blazing kotatsu, might hold confusion and complicated feelings for Kazuma. Especially if he remembers little of his life growing up in Japan.
Ryunosuke considers apologizing... But Kazuma seems to want to move on from it. Should he let him? Probably. He averts his eyes and sips his own tea, which has cooled off significantly. So much for "drink tea while it's hot"...
The bitterness, tolerably masked now by copious amounts of cream and sugar, brings something else to mind. He laughs to himself, lowering the cup from his lips for a moment.]
You know... I swear, you brew tea exactly the same as Susato-san does.
[A name which brings up it's own pang of wistful feelings... He can't help but draw the comparison, though.]
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The feelings of fear and guilt the memory automatically invokes in him are typical, but there are other emotions as well--regret; affection. Love, too. "Susato-san" isn't someone he entirely wants to forget, it seems. He wants to hold on to the sensation before it fades.]
...Who? [he says before he can stop himself.]
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He hopes he will. He really hopes he's not dead, not just for his own sake but for hers. Having ANOTHER exchange student defense attorney die on her would just be... Ugh. It's too much to think about!
(Although, if Kazuma is actually alive... Would it really matter if Ryunosuke was dead, then? She could have her original partner back...)
He shoves that thought aside. He doesn't miss Kazuma's reaction to the name either. His gaze sharpens, for a moment, wondering to himself what it could possibly mean. Does some part of him still remember her?
He sets his cup down, keeping his hands curled around the fading warmth.]
...Mikotoba Susato. My judicial assistant. She's an absolutely brilliant and highly competent young lady. I would never have gotten even half as far in the cases I've stood for, if it weren't for her expert advice. [He pauses.] ...She was actually meant to be your judicial assistant, originally. But...
[You know.]
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--his hand flies to his head as the room spins.]
I--
[He can't remember. He doesn't want to forget her, but he's afraid of where memories of her might lead. He feels like he's standing at the very edge of a precipice, reeling to keep his balance. Every nerve in him is screaming not to fall.
He doesn't.
But it takes a moment for him to find his footing again. He takes a deep breath through his nose, then another, and the nausea fades. Somehow, though, the chill stays.]
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It's not like he hasn't seen Kazuma react this way to hearing certain information before, but... Some sixth sense, or intuition, or an unconscious observation of a variation in Kazuma's body language this time, has Ryunosuke pinging onto the fact that this is hitting him particularly hard.]
Kazuma--!
[He panics. The worst seems to have already passed by the time Ryunosuke manages to extract himself from the kotatsu, but, seeing that Kazuma is still reeling for a long moment after, he sort of dives around the perimeter of the table to slide up to his side anyway. Crouching there, his hand hovers just shy of his friend's shoulder, concern written all over his face.]
Are you alright? I'm sorry, I didn't... I didn't mean to...
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Ryunosuke's worry, at least, isn't necessary, and yet Kazuma finds the sight of his concerned face immeasurably comforting. As he turns to meet Ryunosuke's eyes, he's overwhelmed with an immense fondness; he can't help but smile softly, and he hopes Ryunosuke will take it for the reassurance that it is.]
I'm all right, thank you. Really, you can sit down.
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If you're sure...
[Rather than go to the effort of relocating back to the other side, he decides to just take his seat where he is, right near Kazuma. He reaches to pull his cup of tea over, and glances sideways at his friend.]
That seems to happen to you a lot... I can't believe I'm saying this, but. Have you considered going to see a doctor about that? Your headaches, I mean?
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It isn't that frequent. It's only when...
[When he's in danger of remembering. When the seal he's placed so tightly over his own mind is threatening to break, the headache and nausea hit like an alarm bell, warning him away from the brink. Or so Kazuma can only conclude.
It's just another reason not to pursue any of it.]
Anyway, it's passed now. There's no reason to worry about it.
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He clears his throat softly, trying to find his train of thought again.]
You say that, but worrying about you is something I just can't help but do. Also, um... [Man, he doesn't want to point it out because he doesn't want Kazuma to stop? But.] Is the heater helping at all? It's just that you seem... Um... Clingy isn't the right word, but...
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[Unfortunately, Ryunosuke's words have the exact effect he didn't want. Kazuma looks at him for a moment and then shifts away a few inches, looking surprised and embarrassed, as if he'd only just realized they were touching. He doesn't move that far--he's hampered by the leg of the kotatsu and his own reluctance not to be too far from the only heat source that seems to help--but they're no longer making contact. And now Kazuma is avoiding Ryunosuke's eyes.]
...Sorry.
[He is still cold, is the thing, but he isn't about to tell Ryunosuke that now. He hopes the way he curls on himself slightly just looks defensive as opposed to... well.]
The heater is working just fine.
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Ryunosuke opens his mouth to try and stop him, but he's already moving away, and looking embarrassed to boot, of all things--
Kazuma won't look at him now, but Ryunosuke doesn't stop looking, lips curved into a frown. It doesn't take very long for him to make an impulsive move.
Huffing exasperatedly, he closes the gap between them again, grunting as he sidles up and nudges gently against his side. Now Kazuma is trapped between Ryunosuke and the leg of the kotatsu. Nowhere else to go, idiot! When Ryunosuke is settled, he exhales harshly through his nose, a little snort that makes it clear he will brook no argument.]
...I wasn't trying to say that it bothered me or anything, you know.
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He knows very little about himself, but he knows something about the kind of person he is. He knows it's one that doesn't deserve a friend like Ryunosuke, and it's one that rarely encounters true good fortune, whether from fate itself or of his own making. He should be staying on guard. Complacency is dangerous. But at the moment he finds he doesn't much care.
He curls into the warmth of Ryunosuke as much as he dares, close enough that their breaths can surely mingle. He doesn't dare ask for anything further, but...]
Thank you. [He doesn't know how else to express his gratitude for Ryunosuke simply being there, existing, caring.]
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Both surprised and pleased that his gambit paid off, Ryunosuke hums in acknowledgement, and allows himself a little smile and a satisfied glance in Kazuma's direction.]
...My pleasure.
[Maybe looking at him when they're this close to one another is a mistake. Ryunosuke can half feel his heart melting when he takes in those handsome features which he knows so well, and he's possessed by the intrusive impulse to put an arm around his shoulder as well, or maybe... Reach up and stroke his hair, or hold his hand...
What is wrong with him?]
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He turns more fully so they can make eye contact, not bothering to hide his amused smirk.]
Do I have something on my face?
[What else could you be looking at :)]
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