[It hasn't been terribly long since the two of them made good on their post-court agreement and moved in with one another. Yet, they're already settling into something of a routine in their domestic lives.
Given that Ryunosuke's legal consultancy is the apartment, basically, it means that he's nearly always home whenever Kazuma returns from the Prosecutor's office. When the front door opens, it'll usually be to the sight of Ryunosuke sprawled out atop their threadbare settee, with his nose either in a book or pressed to the screen of his mobile device.
Today is no exception. His mobile phone is the object of fascination this time, and though he barely looks up from it when Kazuma comes in, he hums a cheerful greeting in acknowledgment of his roommate's return.]
[It should have been alarming, the ease with which they've stepped into their domestic routine. Kazuma is normally someone to be distrustful of comfort, but here he's content not to examine the situation too closely for as long as he can get away with it. For now, he'll simply let himself find living with Ryunosuke... oddly calming.
He can't help a small laugh as he hangs up his coat in the entryway closet.]
Your eyes will go bad doing that, you know.
[Teasing feels automatic--something else he won't examine. At the moment, he's preoccupied with wishing he hadn't taken his coat off at all--the late autumn chill seems to have pervaded even inside the apartment, and Kazuma suppresses a shiver as he turns to the tiny kitchen. Maybe some tea or something will help.]
[Ryunosuke barely even dignifies that criticism with a response, just humming dismissively and continuing to browse. He doesn't actually glance in Kazuma's direction until he hears him go into the kitchen, at which point he decides to be a mooch and take advantage of the situation.]
Oh, are you putting the kettle on? Will you bring me a cup?
[It's a comment without any heat, and Kazuma goes ahead and pulls out a second cup anyway, the same as he did the last time they had this conversation. The muscle memory of the precise way to make the tea is another thing he doesn't examine, as is the certainty that he's used to having it on the bitter side.
It isn't a task that takes much time or requires much commentary. Kazuma doesn't bother announcing himself when he exits the kitchen with two steaming cups, letting the clack of the porcelain meeting the table as he places one in front of Ryunosuke doing it for him.
There you go. A bitter green tea Susato would be proud of.]
[Yeah whatever Kazuma, he knows you're still going to do it. And lo and behold, a few minutes later, there it is! Ryunosuke flashes him a polite and sort of apologetic but not-quite-really smile, setting his phone down at last and picking up the cup.]
Thank you.
[As is his way, he goes to take a sip without blowing on it, or even really sniffing it first. So the bitter taste... Hits him like a punch to the mouth.
He sits there a long moment, trying really hard not to pull a face. He kind of forgot... That Kazuma makes tea like this... What a fool he was to ask for this again...]
[Kazuma just laughs at him, of course--no sympathy for the ordeal that Ryunosuke has only brought on himself.]
You know that wouldn't happen if you just drank your tea normally.
[He sits down right next to Ryunosuke without even thinking about it, subconsciously drawn to the warmth of another person like a magnet, close enough that their knees touch. The point of contact only helps a little, and he can't stop the shiver this time as he pulls his own cup of tea close to his chest. Maybe he'll risk a little mouth scalding himself.]
[But even if he drank it normally, it would still be bitter! >:( which is definitely the bigger problem, since he's totally used to scalding himself on a regular basis...
Anyway. Ryunosuke would snark back at him, but Kazuma coming and sitting that close without any warning makes him choke down the mouthful of tea in surprise. For a few long moments, he totally blanks out, trying to process this unexpected development. It's as if a feral cat he's been trying to befriend for weeks has abruptly decided to accept being pet?? He can't make sense of the sudden change.
When he notices the shivering though, his surprise and confusion quickly turn to concern.]
Kazuma? Are you alright? You're shaking...
[And also sitting really, REALLY close to me, he thinks but doesn't say aloud.]
It's November. I'm cold. If anything, it's strange that you aren't.
[Naturally, it's Ryunosuke who's the wrong one. Kazuma punctuates the remark by taking a sip from his drink, hoping the warmth of it would spread outward and ease some of the chill; instead, the sensation of the hot tea somehow only seems to makes him more aware of how cold his outsides are in comparison.
He settles back into the sofa with resigned frustration, his shoulder thoughtlessly knocking against Ryunosuke's as he does.]
Well. If Kazuma feels cold, it's not as if insisting he shouldn't will change his mind, or make him feel any better.]
I suppose... If you say so...
[...And then Kazuma bumps his shoulder, and Ryunosuke sucks a sharp breath in through his teeth as his teacup is jostled, some of its contents sloshing out and splashing right onto his lap.
Ryunosuke yelps. It's SHOCKINGLY hot for about all of 2 seconds, and then very very quickly it becomes miserably, uncomfortably cold, and damp. Gritting his teeth against the sensation, he stiffly leans forward to set his cup down before struggling to stand up, wiggling away from Kazuma.]
Oh, thank you for that! Now I need to go and dab this mess off...
[He grumbles, picking up his cup and disappearing into kitchen for a moment to do just that. In some ways, it is actually kind of serendipitous, because at least this means he can fix his tea by just doing that while he's already up, instead of making a big deal out of it and drawing to attention to himself.
When he returns, he'll be carrying tea that clearly has a bunch of cream and sugar added into it.]
[It's a pointless argument to have, and Kazuma immediately forgets about it as soon as Ryunosuke gets up--it's like what little warmth is left in the room is sucked out along with him, and Kazuma has to put his tea down before his shivering upends it all onto himself in turn. Didn't the landlord say this place had internal heating? It was probably bullshit. He knew they should have gotten someplace with a proper hearth.
It feels like years before Ryunosuke finally comes back to the main room. Kazuma has taken the liberty of getting his coat back on from the entry closet in the meantime, and his scowl dares Ryunosuke to comment on it.]
Well. Ryunosuke can't help but stare, blinking owlishly once more. There's a heaviness in the air between them, the sense that he is seriously considering taking that dare... But instead of commenting right away, he busies his mouth by taking another long sip of his (now tolerably sweetened) tea. It buys him a bit more time to choose his next words very carefully.
He swallows. Smacks his lips lightly before speaking.]
Shall we...? Get the kotatsu out, perhaps?
[Just a suggestion! A very bland, non judgemental suggestion.]
[Kazuma keeps a very straight face, as if he is simply considering Ryunosuke's perfectly neutral suggestion from a reasonable standpoint and not suppressing the urge to shiver in his seat.]
It is the season for it.
[...And that's all the discipline he can manage before he's on his feet and opening the closet where it's been kept folded up.
Putting it all together makes for a temporary distraction from the cold, at least. A table is a table, but the modern kotatsu design still provides enough of a challenge for two guys from the 19th century to require some problem solving. As a final touch, Kazuma takes it upon himself to plug in the completed kotatsu--"since it's so terrifying"--and so it is that they become equipped for the winter.
Their tea has surely gone cold by now, but Kazuma takes a moment to admire their handiwork. While electric power has slowly become less of a novelty the longer they stay in this strange place, the convenience of it all still amazes him.]
I suppose all that's left now is to test it. It can't be any more likely to burn our feet, can it?
[Electrical outlets are witchcraft, OK? It may be witchcraft that Ryunosuke is gradually getting used to, but. Still witchcraft nonetheless.
Anyway, at first he just hums in reply... And if Kazuma's comment was supposed to make him worried about testing it or something, it doesn't work. Despite claiming he was comfortable enough earlier, Ryunosuke is a slut for being warm and cozy. He's quick to take a seat, practically hopping in to get his legs arranged comfortably beneath the blanket, before leaning contentedly against the table, chin resting atop his folded arms.]
Mmm... Is that something that has happened to you a lot before, dealing with kotatsu? I don't think I've ever had that problem.
[His tone is a bit smug and lightly teasing. RIP to the rest of y'all, but Ryunosuke is different???? Between this shit, his love of fireplaces, and his penchant for drinking scalding hot tea, one might wonder if he's actually immune to fire or something.]
[Kazuma settles in adjacent to Ryunosuke, letting his legs stretch out beneath the heater. It does help some--not as much as Kazuma would like, but it is better. As Ryunosuke's question registers, he goes quiet, the good humor falling from his face.]
I... don't know.
[If he thinks about it, he can recall faint details of something like that--the sensation of feet scraping against the grate, sudden pain, and jerking back in surprised reflex. Just the barest flitter of a memory with no sense of where or when or how long ago it took place. And he automatically veers away from dwelling on it further, not wanting any images to take root and bloom into something he can't ignore.]
I suppose I must have, if it's something I'm worried about.
[And in the meantime, he still has tea to drink, thank you.]
[...Sometimes, Ryunosuke likens Kazuma to the sea. Spending time with him while he's in this amnesiac state can be like traversing unfamiliar waters, with choppy waves and the faint scent of a storm in the air. Other times, when their rapport settles into something comfortable and achingly familiar... The sea is smooth, and Ryunosuke forgets that the ocean always has its hazards. That's when he makes mistakes.
All that to say: he'd become so complacent in the face of such familiar and easy banter, he'd all but forgotten that a small and inconsequential memory, such as singed toes courtesy of a blazing kotatsu, might hold confusion and complicated feelings for Kazuma. Especially if he remembers little of his life growing up in Japan.
Ryunosuke considers apologizing... But Kazuma seems to want to move on from it. Should he let him? Probably. He averts his eyes and sips his own tea, which has cooled off significantly. So much for "drink tea while it's hot"...
The bitterness, tolerably masked now by copious amounts of cream and sugar, brings something else to mind. He laughs to himself, lowering the cup from his lips for a moment.]
You know... I swear, you brew tea exactly the same as Susato-san does.
[A name which brings up it's own pang of wistful feelings... He can't help but draw the comparison, though.]
[If Ryunosuke is trying to avoid emotionally complex topics, it's the wrong thing to say. Kazuma breathes in sharply as he recognizes the name--recognizes nothing but the familiarity of it, and the accompanying memory of the sound of fabric moving against wood as a cup is placed in front of him.
The feelings of fear and guilt the memory automatically invokes in him are typical, but there are other emotions as well--regret; affection. Love, too. "Susato-san" isn't someone he entirely wants to forget, it seems. He wants to hold on to the sensation before it fades.]
[So... Kazuma's new scarf turned out to be cursed. Fun times in Reqiuem! Fun times.
It certainly explained a lot. The clinginess, the fact that he was so cold when Ryunosuke was feeling perfectly fine... Dealing with it turned out to be a whole diversion that had taken some time to clear up, necessitating leaving the apartment to go find a proper cure and all. But it's over and done with now, and they've both made it back to the apartment once more.
It's very late in the evening now. As they both get inside and remove their various winter accoutrements, Ryunosuke pauses with a slight frown, his mind wandering back to some unfinished business that had been set aside after CurseGate broke.
He clears his throat, tossing his coat over the back of the sofa before speaking.]
By the way, Kazuma. Um... The curse. That... That didn't have anything to do with, um. I mean... You know. What you said earlier...?
[Kazuma tenses the moment the question is asked. He'd been hoping they could avoid a direct conversation about his behavior while under the effects of the curse, but it was mostly out of embarrassment. Ryunosuke's tone, though, implies an entirely different and more important problem, which means Kazuma can't in good conscience avoid the subject the way he'd sorely like to.
Argh.
He finishes hanging up his coat for what is hopefully the final time that night, letting himself appreciate the feeling of warmth not immediately leaching from his limbs. It has the added benefit of giving him a second to calm his suddenly racing thoughts, to act like his nerves aren't jangling just as much as Ryunosuke's surely are.]
Am I in the habit of saying things I don't mean?
[Kazuma's tone aims for rhetorical, but the question is real. Ryunosuke's worries had to come from somewhere, didn't they? And so did Kazuma's distrust of his own motivations. Only one of them still has the memories to confirm.]
[If Ryunosuke's worries come from anywhere, it's less to do with Kazuma and more to do with his own insecurities. But he does stop and seriously consider that question, rhetorical or not.]
Well... No...
[...Barring the numerous times he can remember where Kazuma had threatened someone with some katana related violence or another. However, knowing the context around them, Ryunosuke is positive those were all just jokes, or instances of exaggeration for effect. Not really applicable here.]
...It's just... [His ears are growing red, but he tries to be brave and look Kazuma in the eye, instead of ducking his head in the sand like he really wants to.] ...Where does that put us, then? I haven't... I mean, I don't know where we...?
[ Kazuma quietly finishes putting away his coat. He doesn't say anything as he returns to the sofa, but he makes sure to look Ryunosuke in the eye to make sure he knows he holds Kazuma's full attention.
Being as sure of his own feelings as he is, he hadn't thought that a conversation would have to be had about this. He has the benefit of knowing his own decisions had very little to do with the curse's effects, after all. But Ryunosuke's uncertainty is suddenly making him uncertain. ]
Where... do you want us to be?
[ It's the real question here. Because Kazuma already knows his own position. ]
[The answer comes both easily and immediately, and the blush is spreading across his cheeks now, but he doesn't care. The reply is almost as forceful as any objection he's given in court. The explanation that follows is much more subdued.]
...I want us to be together. I guess I just... I don't actually know what that entails, I mean, at least when it's... We're both men?
[He hates that he both sounds and FEELS like a blushing maiden admitting that, but it won't do to be dishonest. This is entirely new territory for him.
There's also a voice in the back of his head that's whispering urgent warnings to him. This is a bad idea. You're doing exactly what you promised NOT to do. Conflating the Kazuma he lost with this present one, one who had to be told what his own name was. Ryunosuke shuts those doubts hard the instant they emerge. He doesn't care. He desperately longs for what he missed, regrets his past inaction and indecision. Recalling all that, he's not about to let this opportunity slip through his fingers... For good or for ill.]
[Kazuma lets out a laugh--his old, familiar one, though of course he has no idea--like Ryunosuke has said something funny.]
I promise you, that's only a problem if you make it one.
[...But that's not all, is it? Kazuma's face softens immediately after, to reassure Ryunosuke that he's not actually laughing at him.]
It doesn't have to be anything other than what you want it to be. [And then, something occurs to him, as he feels a spike of panic.] I--that is, if I've overstepped--
[Hearing that laugh triggers such an overwhelming wave of affection, all his questions and doubts go momentarily out the window. It also emboldens him enough to take an extra direct approach towards getting Kazuma to shut up.
He leans over the back of the couch and gently grabs Kazuma's chin, tilting his face so he can lean in and give him a kiss.
It's an impulsive decision on Ryunosuke's part. And a bit ridiculous in tone. But most of all, it's exhilarating.]
[ Kazuma does indeed shut up when Ryunosuke kisses him--he's so surprised he forgets to reciprocate, his eyes instead going wide as he processes what just happened.
Then he immediately turns in his seat to pull Ryunosuke back in and kiss him properly. Not long--just a confirmation to respond to Ryunosuke's own. When it ends, Kazuma is smiling in a way that's almost shy. ]
So... that's that, then?
[ Because if that's Ryunosuke's only doubt... there's nothing else to worry about, right? It can be as uncomplicated and thoughtless as they want. ]
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November 2023; Action
Given that Ryunosuke's legal consultancy is the apartment, basically, it means that he's nearly always home whenever Kazuma returns from the Prosecutor's office. When the front door opens, it'll usually be to the sight of Ryunosuke sprawled out atop their threadbare settee, with his nose either in a book or pressed to the screen of his mobile device.
Today is no exception. His mobile phone is the object of fascination this time, and though he barely looks up from it when Kazuma comes in, he hums a cheerful greeting in acknowledgment of his roommate's return.]
Welcome back.
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[It should have been alarming, the ease with which they've stepped into their domestic routine. Kazuma is normally someone to be distrustful of comfort, but here he's content not to examine the situation too closely for as long as he can get away with it. For now, he'll simply let himself find living with Ryunosuke... oddly calming.
He can't help a small laugh as he hangs up his coat in the entryway closet.]
Your eyes will go bad doing that, you know.
[Teasing feels automatic--something else he won't examine. At the moment, he's preoccupied with wishing he hadn't taken his coat off at all--the late autumn chill seems to have pervaded even inside the apartment, and Kazuma suppresses a shiver as he turns to the tiny kitchen. Maybe some tea or something will help.]
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Oh, are you putting the kettle on? Will you bring me a cup?
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[It's a comment without any heat, and Kazuma goes ahead and pulls out a second cup anyway, the same as he did the last time they had this conversation. The muscle memory of the precise way to make the tea is another thing he doesn't examine, as is the certainty that he's used to having it on the bitter side.
It isn't a task that takes much time or requires much commentary. Kazuma doesn't bother announcing himself when he exits the kitchen with two steaming cups, letting the clack of the porcelain meeting the table as he places one in front of Ryunosuke doing it for him.
There you go. A bitter green tea Susato would be proud of.]
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Thank you.
[As is his way, he goes to take a sip without blowing on it, or even really sniffing it first. So the bitter taste... Hits him like a punch to the mouth.
He sits there a long moment, trying really hard not to pull a face. He kind of forgot... That Kazuma makes tea like this... What a fool he was to ask for this again...]
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You know that wouldn't happen if you just drank your tea normally.
[He sits down right next to Ryunosuke without even thinking about it, subconsciously drawn to the warmth of another person like a magnet, close enough that their knees touch. The point of contact only helps a little, and he can't stop the shiver this time as he pulls his own cup of tea close to his chest. Maybe he'll risk a little mouth scalding himself.]
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Anyway. Ryunosuke would snark back at him, but Kazuma coming and sitting that close without any warning makes him choke down the mouthful of tea in surprise. For a few long moments, he totally blanks out, trying to process this unexpected development. It's as if a feral cat he's been trying to befriend for weeks has abruptly decided to accept being pet?? He can't make sense of the sudden change.
When he notices the shivering though, his surprise and confusion quickly turn to concern.]
Kazuma? Are you alright? You're shaking...
[And also sitting really, REALLY close to me, he thinks but doesn't say aloud.]
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It's November. I'm cold. If anything, it's strange that you aren't.
[Naturally, it's Ryunosuke who's the wrong one. Kazuma punctuates the remark by taking a sip from his drink, hoping the warmth of it would spread outward and ease some of the chill; instead, the sensation of the hot tea somehow only seems to makes him more aware of how cold his outsides are in comparison.
He settles back into the sofa with resigned frustration, his shoulder thoughtlessly knocking against Ryunosuke's as he does.]
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Well. If Kazuma feels cold, it's not as if insisting he shouldn't will change his mind, or make him feel any better.]
I suppose... If you say so...
[...And then Kazuma bumps his shoulder, and Ryunosuke sucks a sharp breath in through his teeth as his teacup is jostled, some of its contents sloshing out and splashing right onto his lap.
Ryunosuke yelps. It's SHOCKINGLY hot for about all of 2 seconds, and then very very quickly it becomes miserably, uncomfortably cold, and damp. Gritting his teeth against the sensation, he stiffly leans forward to set his cup down before struggling to stand up, wiggling away from Kazuma.]
Oh, thank you for that! Now I need to go and dab this mess off...
[He grumbles, picking up his cup and disappearing into kitchen for a moment to do just that. In some ways, it is actually kind of serendipitous, because at least this means he can fix his tea by just doing that while he's already up, instead of making a big deal out of it and drawing to attention to himself.
When he returns, he'll be carrying tea that clearly has a bunch of cream and sugar added into it.]
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[It's a pointless argument to have, and Kazuma immediately forgets about it as soon as Ryunosuke gets up--it's like what little warmth is left in the room is sucked out along with him, and Kazuma has to put his tea down before his shivering upends it all onto himself in turn. Didn't the landlord say this place had internal heating? It was probably bullshit. He knew they should have gotten someplace with a proper hearth.
It feels like years before Ryunosuke finally comes back to the main room. Kazuma has taken the liberty of getting his coat back on from the entry closet in the meantime, and his scowl dares Ryunosuke to comment on it.]
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Well. Ryunosuke can't help but stare, blinking owlishly once more. There's a heaviness in the air between them, the sense that he is seriously considering taking that dare... But instead of commenting right away, he busies his mouth by taking another long sip of his (now tolerably sweetened) tea. It buys him a bit more time to choose his next words very carefully.
He swallows. Smacks his lips lightly before speaking.]
Shall we...? Get the kotatsu out, perhaps?
[Just a suggestion! A very bland, non judgemental suggestion.]
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It is the season for it.
[...And that's all the discipline he can manage before he's on his feet and opening the closet where it's been kept folded up.
Putting it all together makes for a temporary distraction from the cold, at least. A table is a table, but the modern kotatsu design still provides enough of a challenge for two guys from the 19th century to require some problem solving. As a final touch, Kazuma takes it upon himself to plug in the completed kotatsu--"since it's so terrifying"--and so it is that they become equipped for the winter.
Their tea has surely gone cold by now, but Kazuma takes a moment to admire their handiwork. While electric power has slowly become less of a novelty the longer they stay in this strange place, the convenience of it all still amazes him.]
I suppose all that's left now is to test it. It can't be any more likely to burn our feet, can it?
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Anyway, at first he just hums in reply... And if Kazuma's comment was supposed to make him worried about testing it or something, it doesn't work. Despite claiming he was comfortable enough earlier, Ryunosuke is a slut for being warm and cozy. He's quick to take a seat, practically hopping in to get his legs arranged comfortably beneath the blanket, before leaning contentedly against the table, chin resting atop his folded arms.]
Mmm... Is that something that has happened to you a lot before, dealing with kotatsu? I don't think I've ever had that problem.
[His tone is a bit smug and lightly teasing. RIP to the rest of y'all, but Ryunosuke is different???? Between this shit, his love of fireplaces, and his penchant for drinking scalding hot tea, one might wonder if he's actually immune to fire or something.]
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I... don't know.
[If he thinks about it, he can recall faint details of something like that--the sensation of feet scraping against the grate, sudden pain, and jerking back in surprised reflex. Just the barest flitter of a memory with no sense of where or when or how long ago it took place. And he automatically veers away from dwelling on it further, not wanting any images to take root and bloom into something he can't ignore.]
I suppose I must have, if it's something I'm worried about.
[And in the meantime, he still has tea to drink, thank you.]
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All that to say: he'd become so complacent in the face of such familiar and easy banter, he'd all but forgotten that a small and inconsequential memory, such as singed toes courtesy of a blazing kotatsu, might hold confusion and complicated feelings for Kazuma. Especially if he remembers little of his life growing up in Japan.
Ryunosuke considers apologizing... But Kazuma seems to want to move on from it. Should he let him? Probably. He averts his eyes and sips his own tea, which has cooled off significantly. So much for "drink tea while it's hot"...
The bitterness, tolerably masked now by copious amounts of cream and sugar, brings something else to mind. He laughs to himself, lowering the cup from his lips for a moment.]
You know... I swear, you brew tea exactly the same as Susato-san does.
[A name which brings up it's own pang of wistful feelings... He can't help but draw the comparison, though.]
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The feelings of fear and guilt the memory automatically invokes in him are typical, but there are other emotions as well--regret; affection. Love, too. "Susato-san" isn't someone he entirely wants to forget, it seems. He wants to hold on to the sensation before it fades.]
...Who? [he says before he can stop himself.]
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November 2023; action, probably a few hours after the previous thread?
It certainly explained a lot. The clinginess, the fact that he was so cold when Ryunosuke was feeling perfectly fine... Dealing with it turned out to be a whole diversion that had taken some time to clear up, necessitating leaving the apartment to go find a proper cure and all. But it's over and done with now, and they've both made it back to the apartment once more.
It's very late in the evening now. As they both get inside and remove their various winter accoutrements, Ryunosuke pauses with a slight frown, his mind wandering back to some unfinished business that had been set aside after CurseGate broke.
He clears his throat, tossing his coat over the back of the sofa before speaking.]
By the way, Kazuma. Um... The curse. That... That didn't have anything to do with, um. I mean... You know. What you said earlier...?
[Was any of that real?]
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Argh.
He finishes hanging up his coat for what is hopefully the final time that night, letting himself appreciate the feeling of warmth not immediately leaching from his limbs. It has the added benefit of giving him a second to calm his suddenly racing thoughts, to act like his nerves aren't jangling just as much as Ryunosuke's surely are.]
Am I in the habit of saying things I don't mean?
[Kazuma's tone aims for rhetorical, but the question is real. Ryunosuke's worries had to come from somewhere, didn't they? And so did Kazuma's distrust of his own motivations. Only one of them still has the memories to confirm.]
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Well... No...
[...Barring the numerous times he can remember where Kazuma had threatened someone with some katana related violence or another. However, knowing the context around them, Ryunosuke is positive those were all just jokes, or instances of exaggeration for effect. Not really applicable here.]
...It's just... [His ears are growing red, but he tries to be brave and look Kazuma in the eye, instead of ducking his head in the sand like he really wants to.] ...Where does that put us, then? I haven't... I mean, I don't know where we...?
[Where do they go from here?]
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Being as sure of his own feelings as he is, he hadn't thought that a conversation would have to be had about this. He has the benefit of knowing his own decisions had very little to do with the curse's effects, after all. But Ryunosuke's uncertainty is suddenly making him uncertain. ]
Where... do you want us to be?
[ It's the real question here. Because Kazuma already knows his own position. ]
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[The answer comes both easily and immediately, and the blush is spreading across his cheeks now, but he doesn't care. The reply is almost as forceful as any objection he's given in court. The explanation that follows is much more subdued.]
...I want us to be together. I guess I just... I don't actually know what that entails, I mean, at least when it's... We're both men?
[He hates that he both sounds and FEELS like a blushing maiden admitting that, but it won't do to be dishonest. This is entirely new territory for him.
There's also a voice in the back of his head that's whispering urgent warnings to him. This is a bad idea. You're doing exactly what you promised NOT to do. Conflating the Kazuma he lost with this present one, one who had to be told what his own name was. Ryunosuke shuts those doubts hard the instant they emerge. He doesn't care. He desperately longs for what he missed, regrets his past inaction and indecision. Recalling all that, he's not about to let this opportunity slip through his fingers... For good or for ill.]
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I promise you, that's only a problem if you make it one.
[...But that's not all, is it? Kazuma's face softens immediately after, to reassure Ryunosuke that he's not actually laughing at him.]
It doesn't have to be anything other than what you want it to be. [And then, something occurs to him, as he feels a spike of panic.] I--that is, if I've overstepped--
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He leans over the back of the couch and gently grabs Kazuma's chin, tilting his face so he can lean in and give him a kiss.
It's an impulsive decision on Ryunosuke's part. And a bit ridiculous in tone. But most of all, it's exhilarating.]
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Then he immediately turns in his seat to pull Ryunosuke back in and kiss him properly. Not long--just a confirmation to respond to Ryunosuke's own. When it ends, Kazuma is smiling in a way that's almost shy. ]
So... that's that, then?
[ Because if that's Ryunosuke's only doubt... there's nothing else to worry about, right? It can be as uncomplicated and thoughtless as they want. ]
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He grins. Shy, or shy-adjacent, is not a look he's used to seeing on Kazuma, but he likes it.]
Yes... I think that's that.